This hack will transform your negotiation style
Many people are hesitant to negotiate because they believe they’d be using up social capital, that they’d come across as annoying, or that it will risk the...
Hi there,
Many people are hesitant to negotiate because they believe they’d be using up social capital, that they’d come across as annoying, or that it will risk the relationship.
And if they decide to negotiate, they overthink what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.
But after years of studying negotiations, I've discovered something surprising: Asking doesn't take away from people, it creates new roles for them.
Let me share a story that changed how I view every negotiation:
A substitute teacher faced with a disruptive student had a choice. Instead of resorting to punishment, he asked:
"Will you take attendance and deliver it to the principal's office?"
The result? The "troublemaker" became his most trusted assistant.
The student's posture would straighten as he called out names. He'd carry that attendance book down the hall with pride, like a sacred duty.
Why did this work? Because every ask is a conscious creation of a new role.
This principle can transform salary negotiations: When you ask for what you're worth, you're not just requesting more money.
You're inviting the other person to help you create a better future for you and your family - and most people are happy to help others.
Here are 3 universal truths I've discovered:
Every negotiation is an invitation to a new dynamic.
The role you create can either elevate or diminish both parties.
Give people the opportunity to help you create a better future. They’ll often be honored to.
Think about your next negotiation differently:
Instead of thinking of it as a win-lose situation, what role are you inviting the other person to play?
Get our free negotiation worksheet to keep handy during calls with potential employers to avoid mistakes that could compromise your leverage.
Click here to download: Download Negotiation Worksheet
Best,
Gerta & Alex
Co-founders of YourNegotiations.com