The recruiting process wasn't designed with your interests in mind
Hi Reader,
The recruiting process has a lot of unwritten rules, and most candidates follow them without question.
When a company asks you what your preferred salary is, it seems normal to give it to them. It just feels like what you're supposed to do, so you do it. That's just what the process looks like, right?
It doesn't have to be.
The norms favor employers, and that's not an accident
There's a quote by American author Eliot Schrefer: "Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people." In the job search context, you could swap "dead people" for "companies".
The recruiting process wasn't designed with your interests in mind. It was shaped over time by companies, in part because they've historically held more perceived power in these conversations. They're the ones with their hands on the compensation levers, after all. But when something feels like a standard part of the process, it's worth asking yourself, "Standard for whom?"
A good example is the salary question. When a recruiter asks for your preferred compensation early in the process, they're not just going through the motions. That number, if you give it, can anchor everything that follows. And yet, so many candidates share it because it feels rude not to, or they don't want to come off uncooperative, or because they assume everyone else does.
Alex experienced this firsthand when he last applied to jobs before we started YourNegotiations.com. He recalls an early conversation with a recruiter who was pressing him hard for his number, but Alex respectfully held the line on not sharing it.
The recruiter peppered him with reasons why it was fine to share:
"It helps me advocate for you with the team."
"You know, this is a standard part of any process, regardless of what company you're talking to."
"All of the candidates I'm speaking with share their numbers, it's pretty common to just share it."
Even if any of these reasons are true, it's not an argument for why sharing benefits you. It's an argument for why it's normal. But those aren't the same thing; lots of things can be considered normal that aren't in your interest.
If you’re asked for a number or range early on, tactfully deflect sharing it and instead say something like: “Thank you for asking! I’m currently focused on exploring that this is a mutually good fit. I’m confident we can align on compensation.”
There are many ways you can phrase deflections, and much of it depends on your unique circumstances, whether you’re in between jobs or currently working, the company culture, the demeanor of the recruiter, if you were referred, whether you have an existing relationship with the hiring manager or someone from the team, and more. You can book a free 15-min call with us to get specific tips for your situation.
You have more leverage than you think
Don't forget: you as a competitive candidate have leverage too with your experience, qualifications, and optionality (i.e. you should always apply to multiple roles when job searching; never just one at a time).
Negotiating may feel risky, but reframing the process for yourself can have you show up in all your conversations from a more empowered state of mind. You’re not asking a company for favors, but you’re exploring together to find a win-win deal for all parties involved.
For more about how to get into the negotiation mindset, we covered this in-depth in this past newsletter.
Warmly,
Gerta & Alex
Founders, YourNegotiations.com
P.S. Know someone interested in negotiations?
Send them our way and we’ll thank you with $250 for each person who becomes a client. No cap.
A quick intro or an email to alex@yournegotiations.com works.

