The power of someone’s name in negotiations
In one of our recent podcast episodes (YouTube | Spotify | Apple), I (Alex) pointed something out that Gerta does frequently.
Hi friends,
In one of our recent podcast episodes (YouTube | Spotify | Apple), I (Alex) pointed something out that Gerta does frequently.
When we were chatting on the podcast about negotiating rent, hotels, or flights, we were recounting Gerta’s call with a hotel’s customer service rep while I was sitting nearby overhearing the conversation. I then noticed a small move that Gerta does almost every time on these calls.
At some point during her calls with customer support, Gerta will ask the person for their name. She does this casually, almost absentmindedly, and even she didn’t realize she does this until I pointed it out.
Asking for someone’s name often will shift the “feel” of the conversation. The exchange feels less like a request being handled and more like two people talking. For someone who spends their day dealing with back-to-back issues, that moment of being acknowledged seems to matter.
What usually follows is genuine appreciation. Gerta will thank them, mention something specific that was helpful, and often ask if there’s a way to leave positive feedback or fill out a survey to share about her positive experience.
Sure this can be a useful tactic, but just a few extra minutes to show appreciation can go a long way for the person on the other end of the line. That feedback can help someone get recognized at work, earn a raise, or simply have a better day.
Why do names matter so much? Names carry identity, culture, and background. Sometimes they reveal an unexpected connection, like a shared background, language, region of origin. Gerta speaks seven languages, and I've seen countless times when Gerta has connected deeply with a stranger in a matter of minutes after surprising them by speaking in their native tongue.
These shared moments build rapport, and starting with someone’s name can open the door to making it easier to find a win-win.
Customer support roles rarely come with that kind of acknowledgment. When people ask for a name, it’s often because something has gone wrong. But asking for their name with respect and intention to provide value, that changes the tone entirely.
We see this play out again and again in everyday negotiations. Politeness, patience, and small kind gestures will go a long way.
Best,
Gerta & Alex
Cofounders, YourNegotiations.com
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